An internal dialogue about motivation following a prompt from my leadership coach:
Coach’s Voice (CV): Good to see you. How are you today?
Me: I am alright. I feel flat with little energy to initiate much of anything, and no urgency to shift.
Coach’s Prompt: I have experienced that as well…. Something that helped in the past was a better understanding of what excites me, and other times understanding what character deficit might surround my lack of motivation.
Me: Hmm. What am I passionate about…? I enjoy supporting and helping others and seeing them flourish. I like new experiences and new challenges, collaborating with people. I guess if the people in my circle of influence are healthy and happy and do not need my help, I am not certain what comes next, other than waiting until an opportunity presents itself.
CV: Tell me more about that.
Me: For example, my wife is doing what she loves, super engaged and energized by her opportunities, and overall, in a really good season. She often says her freedom to pursue what she loves would not be possible without the work I do to provide for our family. I guess my work does not feel very engaging or fulfilling, yet how important is that in light of what my wife is able to do?
CV: So, you are supporting your wife and family, which is life-giving, yet work feels, “meh?”
Me: Right. I guess I wonder if we can both enjoy what we do, be passionate about what we do, or if one of us will always have to sacrifice for the other. She sacrificed for me while I pursued endeavors outside of work, so maybe the give and take, the sacrifice, comes in waves. Maybe I am anxious to do something different, and the waiting is hard.
CV: What is keeping you from doing something different, or what would different look like?
Me: Fear of risk, having a timeline for something we want to do in the future, yet having to wait. I am also learning that the unhealthy “me” seeks to help others to feel accepted, to gain strokes for what I do. Maybe different is not necessary. Maybe the season I am in is a good one and I am impatient for what the future might be – and the future is not guaranteed. Why am I worrying about tomorrow when today has enough worries of its own? If I am exploring love as my core motivator, and those whom I love would not change anything, can I be satisfied? Is that enough?
CV: What do you think?
Me: The song Jireh comes to mind:
“I’m already loved, I’m already chosen.
I know who I am, I know what You’ve spoken.
I’m already loved, more than I could imagine.
And that is enough.”
CV: You are loved, and you are enough.
Me: Thank you.
CV: Nice work today.
4motivo 